Donald Trump Through the Words of Stanley Kubrick

Way out east in the middle of Washington D.C., there was this real orange-looking fella who went by Donald Trump. He never was much interested in the name his parents gave him. He preferred to go by “The Boss” considering he was the president of the United States. The nickname “the Boss” was the nucleus of his very existence. Now they call Washington D.C. the Capital City and I am quite certain that “the Boss” is convinced that it is because he lives there. 

It’s early on a Sunday morning. We are tracking a man in a navy suit, signature red tie, and an awful orange spray tan get escorted to a helicopter. He is “the Boss”. The Boss seems to have added another tan to his already noticeable spray tan. The Boss goes up in the chopper and flies out over the city. When we finally see the Boss return again, he slowly walks across the stage to address the crowd making quite the scene. He begins his discussion on the recent COVID-19 outbreak. He causes quite the uproar from the crowd when he says, “They talk about cases, and the cases are created because of the fact that we do tremendous testing.” This gets quite the rebuttal from Sleepy Joe Biden. All the while, the Boss is shaking his head while Sleepy Joe says, “You are out of your element Donald”. I reckon it has become clear that neither one of these folk is fit for the job. Sleep Joe and the Boss have gotten into a good old-fashioned dual and not either one of ‘em is making a whole lotta sense. 

Sleepy Joe and the Boss began to approach each other on stage. They begin to tussle as Sleepy Joe reaches for the Boss. Sleepy Joe gets ahold of his toupee and pulls it clean off. The boss is in disbelief and is visually annoyed. “Ah come on man that’s my toupee. It really tied my outfit together.” The Boss leaves in an angry fit and pays a visit to his friend Mike Pence. They decide to hit Trump Links for a round of golf. Pence sees the visible frustration being displayed by the Boss and also notices the not so subtle missing toupee. Mike Pence listens to how much the Boss really valued his toupee and how angry he is. Pence talks to the Boss about his unchecked agression and what he needs to do in his first course of  action. The Boss begins to track down Sleepy Joe and finds him at his vacation home right outside the Capital City. Sleepy Joe is quite busy and asks the Boss what he wants. The Boss responds, “ok well see man. It was this toupee. It really tied my look together man. I’m just looking to be compensated here man.” Sleep Joe is quick to respond saying, “You are just looking for free money like everybody else in the Capital City. I am a very busy man so if that’s all I have some speeches to write that probably will not make any sense as per usual.” 

Sheepishly, the Boss leaves with his bright orange tan being accentuated by the fact that he does not have a toupee any longer. The Boss climbs into his sleek black helicopter and takes off towards the heart of the Capital City. The Boss goes back to pay a visit to his pal Mike Pence at Trump links once more. Pence gives the Boss an earful about what he needs to do next to get back at Sleepy Joe. The Boss takes it all with a grain of salt because Pence’s methods seem a little bit too extreme for the situation at hand. 

As time passes, the Boss has less and less hatred towards Sleepy Joe and it seems like the only angry one is Mike Pence. The Boss explains to Pence that its not a big deal and that he can eventually get a new toupee. As the elections come up, the Boss gets excited to beat Sleepy Joe. The Boss realizes that he has been bested when the results come back and he sees that he has lost the election to Sleepy Joe. 

Footnote: I adapted this work from Stanley Kubrick’s, “The Big Lebowski”. I attempted to create a satire between two political leaders by meshing a story along with a voiceover similar to how it was done in “The Big Lebowski”. I attempted to add quotes said by both sides that much of the public found as funny or just flat out outrageous. Both Biden and Trump have said their fair share of  quotes that do not make a whole lot of sense.