Deconstructing Humanity

 1

Since moving here, we have lived in the same 19th-century building that often takes the face of a haunted house at night. However, like every other building in the Bronx, having lived in an "antique" apartment, as my mother likes to call it, has its parks, such as the water radiator that wakes you up with its hissing sound in the middle of the night or the old dumbwaiter that's now sealed shut in our kitchen. With my love for wood and earthy aesthetics and my father's modern touch, it is safe to say that it is more than an apartment now; it has become our home. While running late to my 8:30 class, I usually ensure my hijab is intact enough, so it can't come off even when someone tries to pull it off, and I drape my keffiyeh over my shoulders before heading out. 

"Being a hijabi and wearing a keffiyeh out and about in New York City is unsafe." 

My mother likes to remind me time and time again that we might not be fully welcomed in America. 

2

New York City, known for its hustle and bustle, arrives at a halting stop on October 7, 2023. The attack on Israel by Hamas met with continuous attacks on Gaza, Occupied Palestine. We sit in the comfort of our homes and scroll through social media. We see the damage of war and violence on Palestinians. The days seem a blur as I try to wrap my head around the fact that we, as a society, have stayed silent as an ethnic group is being punished for something they have not done. As we sit and eat and enjoy our drinks, there are newborns who are being reported to have passed away due to not being able to get milk from their mothers who have been stuck under the rubble of their building for the past month. The children who have gone through a survey without the proper instrument or anesthesia live in a world where we cry from a paper cut.  While Western media hides its truth from us, we hear the echoes of cries from Palestine as we are reminded of the constant failure of humanity. But the truth doesn't hide, and neither do the voices of Gazans who continue voicing their pain and sorrows online for us to see as they pay the price of collective punishment for something they have not done. Again, I drape my keffiyeh over my shoulders before heading out. 

Things don't surprise me as often as it used to. It's tough to draw my attention to things such as consumerism and capitalistic views when I am so deeply absorbed in my world of what humanity has become and if we should even be called human anymore. Americans were and continue to suffer each day from the rise of school shootings, poverty, unhoused individuals, and many more. Yet, our culture and government are so engrossed in the idea that we are so far ahead of everyone else that it is impossible that our own are suffering while we pay to kill innocent children abroad. 

3

At the start of the new semester, as I sit in class trying to pay attention to what my professor is saying, my mind goes back and forth on my assignments. The clicking of keyboards as my peers tried to take down notes or text their friends put me in a state of nuance as I tried to focus on the syllabus that was on the board. Being called an anti-semite while I tried to call out that no children should die physically and mentally pains me. It pains me even more to see my Jewish friends, who support the ceasefire and then end the blockage in Gaza, are called slurs and a shame to Judaism.

"How does bombing a densely populated land strip filled 50% with children constitute self-defense? How does bombing hospitals, churches, mosques, and U.N. schools constitute self-defense?"

This is an excerpt from MSNBC's The Reidout, where American journalist Joy Reid, on October 30, 2023, takes a stab at the American government for using our tax money to fund the killing of innocents. And still, I drape my keffiyeh over my shoulders before heading out, fearing not coming back home, but that pain might not compare to those continuously suffering.

                                                                    Citations 

For my blog post, I have tried to adapt the writing style of Joan Didion's new journalist point of view using a fragmented narrative regarding my experience as a Muslim American during and after the October 7 attack. I have tried to combine my personal and observational skills and structure the post's layout in a way that is similar to Didion's structure of The White Album. I have also tried critiquing the American media and culture as Didion has done, but for American life in the 1960s/70s. I used the same style for the beginning of the post, where Didion described her L.A. home, and then continued with my observations about the events. I have started in the present tense and then moved back and forth to the past tense. I have also added some of my writing style, such as repetition and casual diction. 

Bisset, Victoria. "Six Months of the Israel-Gaza War: A Timeline of Key Moments." The Washington Post,www.washingtonpost.com/world/2024/04/07/israel-hamas-gaza-war-timeline-anniversary/. Accessed April 7. 2024. 

Reid, Joy. "Middle East Conflict between Israel and Hamas Is Dividing the World." MSNBC, NBCUniversal News Group, October 31, 2023, www.msnbc.com/the-reidout/watch/middle-east-conflict-between-israel-and-hamas-is-dividing-the-world-196745797554.